I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh that was deliberately louder than necessary. "Come on, you know I stopped listening after 'Wow, Jack.' Seriously, you have my attention now. I don't know for how long, but you have it now, and I'm saying I want to hear your take on all this 2012 stuff."

"Holy shit Jack, is that really you? I can barely recognize you from behind this façade of human feeling." Tuck sure was having a good time. Geez, why did he have to make this even harder than it already was? I wasn't sure what I thought was going on, but there had to be some explanation, and while Tuck joked around a lot, I knew he thought there was something to the 2012 thing. Did I really need to admit that there just might be?

"Yeah, it's me. Look, I don't think the brightest minds of today can predict with any reasonable certainty the century or even necessarily the millennium that the world will end. So I don't see how a bunch of creepy guys who worshipped constellations, thought the Earth was flat, and tore out childrens' hearts as human sacrifice could predict the exact date thousands of years in advance." It felt good to get that out, but I hoped I hadn't gone too far.

"However," I continued, "I realize that if nothing else, this is a situation ripe for the Shellenberg effect." The Shellenberg effect was a term I had coined less than a second ago to describe a disturbing behavior I had observed far too often in irrational people.



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