Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York
What did this have to do with anything? "Phazon? I don't know, it's used in construction."
"But what is it?" Morty asked.
Did this matter? "It's a kind of gooey blue substance, with trace amounts of radiation, but perfectly safe. And I guess it has certain properties that make it a great construction material, so we use it in everything."
Morty smiled, the way someone does when revealing something very important. "Would it surprise you to hear that phazon doesn't exist anywhere in the world, outside of Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York?"
Tuck and I exchanged amused looks. "That's ridiculous," I said. "They use phazon everywhere."
"How do you know that?" Morty questioned.
"We see it on TV all the time," I said.
"But who controls the TV studios?" Morty asked, his grin widening.
"The mesothelioma law firms," I answered. I was starting to get a little nervous about this. "But they couldn't possibly keep such an amazing substance a secret for long, just by covering it with TV propaganda. To keep the rest of the world from finding out, they'd have to..."
"Quarantine the town?" Morty offered.
I looked at Tuck, and saw that he felt the same chill I did.
"Let me connect the dots for you," Morty said with a look of glee on his face. "Millions of years ago, an asteroid made of pure phazon collided with the Earth. Much, much later, humans arrived, and at the crash site, they built the town that would eventually become Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York."
The phazon came from space?
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